mmmmmmm

ok... i'm excited b cuz there's this book that i am reading called NERVOUS.... BY ZANE... she's awsome. I MEAN AWSOME... lol.. i'm almost to the end of it so i don't want to write about the book itself... ok before i say anymore ZANE'S books has alot of SEXUALITY... i mean A LOT... LOL. beinging that i have read like 4 or 5 (well i own the of coarse) it got me thinking. is it really that bad for a woman to express herself sexually i mean guys do it all the time. see, her novels are great especially to women because it lets us know how it's ok for us to have a you know WILD SIDE. hehe. see, when a women is known to have sex with more then just one guy, several guys she's a whore, hoe, slut, ect (need i say more). but i think that there's many types of sexaul women and that's ok for one to experiance what most are afraid too.
        you that female that every guy wants. that female that seems to b so misterious and cold but HOT at the same time. well that's the female that's not afraid of doing or saying or even asking for SEX. but she's also the female that never is seened with a guy, why??? simple this female like to keep herself and hers PRIVATE. mmmmm understand..... no, ok.
         lets see another type is. you know that female that most crave for. the one that looks at you and makes your birdy tickel... lol that female that lets you know right from the door what she wants and expects no more or less from you. that female that goes to her closet and chooses the man FOR THE NIGHT. the one that claims that she don't need a man to keep her warm... lol well that's the type of female that most confuse as whores, hoes, sluts., just cuz she knows what she wants and even gets what she wants.
now.

i know and completely understand that there has to be a point where a female has to respect herself.
i think guys has it good cuz they can sleep  with as many as they want and not b considered anything. i guess. right? i don't know really i'm not a dude. there's some women who are afraid to say the word sex, fuck, intercourse, or anything that names a body part. lets face it people 2010... things are changing and the sex indistry is rising every year.

don't get me wrong i'm the one to sleep with strangers. i have one person and this persons satisfies me in all types of ways. remember be safe, prevent unwanted things you know what i mean and live and love life to the fullest cuz there's only one... i'll write more about this next time... there's some things i have to do... laters

I TO YOU

I think of you everyday.
And I hope you think of me that way.
I dream of you every single night.
And I hope you think of me once or twice.
I wait for you so that I can see you.
And I hope that you can see me too...
I pray for you so that you wake the next day.
And I give thanks to the almighty when I see a
         smile on your face.
I'll give you my strength when you are most weak,
I'll give you my all even when you're not next to me.
I gaze upon you in hopes you gaze upon me.
When you cry I will make it all better,
When you are lost I will find you.
When you feel stranded I will... no matter...
I stay close but not to close so that you can still breathe.
When you need guidance you can always count on me,
'Cuz I will never.... I just simply WILL......

a letter to jeff

 I know it's simple of me just by writing this here, but there's something that the world needs to know. Papi I'm not holding back. no more hiding... the world must know how I feel about you and how we met... honestly I never thought we'd last this long. almost 4 yrs wow n I still LOVE YOU. every time I'm with you life just seems to be better. Every time I'm around my soul seems to be at peace. you're the only one that can understand me. you're the only one that doesn't judge me, the only one that can put a real smile on my face when I feel as if my world is falling apart. you always make me cry but their tears of joy. joy because I no longer have to be alone, joy because I wake up everyday next to you, and joy because you've opened my eyes. I know  find myself in dark places at times, but when I'm with you the world seems to sit still. imagine the world asleep with only us walking around it's beauty, with the stars looking at us and the moon shining on us. walking around the world seeing all the secrets she holds... just you and me. sounds like a dream huh.. well, that's my dream... I live to love you and your love allows me to move forward... who would have thought that it's possible to meet someone online... after all we met on Myspace... lol... it's fun to see the expression on ppls faces when I tell them I met you on Myspace. when I think back it's crazy how the day we first seened each other we never stood apart from one another. from the good and the bad I'm always here for you. it's like destiny everything was perfect, you even know my family without having to have known me. that was a good thing 'cuz I didn't have to introduce you to everyone since you knew pretty much everyone.. lol. your a pain in the ass sometimes but I took you AS IS... so I can't return you. lol but I know I'm as much as a headache so I guess we are equal. ;) I just want you to know how special you are to me and when you read this know that I LOVE YOU.......

it's been a while

wow it's been aready a month n i haven't post anything, must have been busy. wow it's amazing how time flies by. i don't really have anything to say right... i've been helping my mom get situated since she moved back to jersey... big change for her since it's been so long since she's been out here, everything different for her here. i love having her around. it's been years since we've spent dis much time with eachother. i'm glad for her and i hope she finds happiness here even though this place is hard to cope with...
well dats it for now... i have to get ready for work tomorrow...

Questions?

Am I really meant for you?
And are you really meant for me?
Is the love we share true?
Is finding true love just a dream?
Do you need me as much as I need you?
After all your the first one there when I'm blue.
When you speak is it from the heart?
Is there a distance to our love?
Can it travel far?
When you say forever do you mean till death do us apart?
When you say I'm the only one do you really mean that I'm the only one?

No longer...

We once were dreamers.
Destined to be forever.
Along came something powerful,
We then had a no longer.
I tried to plea with you,
But you were so awful,
Then there was a chance,
And I gave up and said
         Forever was never true.

Your heart grew cold,
Days went by,
We both were alone,
Then months went by,
We had no future to hold.
I became dark,
You... more careless,
We separated far,
And I became fearless.


Bitter memories…
A part of me,
That will be the end of me.
I have foreseen,
How our love will remain misery.
But you once had hope,
And it was too late,
So u had to leave,
And we just changed.
I still keep you close,
Though you might not know,
That I look at the stars,
And sometimes wish we never
        Had part…..

I remember

I remember everything, all the good and bad,

I remember the most of the happy and sad.
I remember when you said we’ll always be together,
But I remember the most when it didn’t last forever.
I remember you held me hands just to walk me to class,
I remember how everything happened so fast.
I remember the looks you use to give me cuz you couldn’t believe,
I remember when you use to hold me and say how we will always be.
I remember the headaches we had when we couldn’t be next to each other,
And the timeless moments when we knew our future…
I remember the time when there was a time that we stood far apart,
And as the days went by we remained in each other hearts.
I remember the times when I use to dream of waking up next to you,
And the times where everything got so confused…
I remember the days where our youth were so perfect,
And in my heart I knew we deserved it.
I remember saying that I will never stop loving you,
I remember when years after you said you no longer loved me,
I remember laying there wondering if that was true,
I remember when I finally realized that it was never meant to be.
I remember telling you that if we were meant to be life will brings us together,
I remember everything because I always wonder…
I remember you because everything remembers me of you,
And even if you do not feel the same its ok cuz I’ll keep this from you.
I remember……