in pain...

it's wierd how everythin work.. i'm so bored of it.. sadly to say i'm not even sure who am i... blah blah blah... i miss him though... it's a very long time but i can still feel  him here... i'm talkin about my father. u kno dat every girl needs her father, me i have none. can't remember how it feels to have father by my side since we lived so far from eachother. it hurts to kno now dat i'm here we everything started he is no longer here. 2005 was wen my heart was broken... i luv u daddy and miss u... 


just 18.... (i remember)



i had just turned 18 and i remember it all.. i remember how happy i was when my father came to visit me on my birthday.. i remember looking into his eyes and seeing so much saddness in him.. but the pain that we were soon to feel no one deserved it.. i remember his smile his laughter and his ways, i remember everything even when he went away.. i never knew that june 27, 2005 would be my worst day.. i remember chabo calling me down stairs, i remember when she looked at me cold, when she said that she had news, i remember when she spoke only because that day i lost my soul.. i remeber her telling me that papi was no longer here, i remember her grabbing my hands but her words i did not hear.. i remember when she told me that junito had died, but i also remember her telling me that it wasn't my brother but father but i just cried.. i remember looking at abuela with an emptiness in my heart, i remember feeling nothing becasue my life was torn apart.. i remeber when my cousin took me, chabo, and lulu to cooper hospital because i had to identify and make sure it was my father.. i remember nothing just seeing that door open, i remember seeing my beloved father in the hopsital bed dead!!!!! i remember not thinking of nothing just laying myself on his cold blue body!!! i remember yelling at god to bring back my papi.. i remember my aunts trying to grab me but my body became paralized and threw itself on the floor, i remember begging god to let me see my father once more.. i remember cursing at everyone in the bible, i remember when lulu grabbed me when i cursed at gods deciples.. i remember nothing but everything is so clear, i remember that death was my biggest fear.. i remember when everyone looked at me with pity, i remember when i finally became shocked... shocked because he was gone, i remember my aunts telling me that since i was the oldest i had to be strong!! i remember this day because i never said good-bye, i remember telling my father bendicion and i love you, i remember telling my father see you when my life is through.....






R.I.P... SEGUNDO GUZMAN A.K.A JUNNY...OR JUNITO

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